If you’re suffering from a lack of motivation about your challenge then you might be making this mistake.
If you’re considering doing backflips on a motorbike, getting shot from a cannon, working as an assistant to a blind folded knife thrower, or procrastinating about doing your filing, cleaning your garage or taking on any challenge where you’re worried you might fail – then you might want to take a look at this vlog.
In the last few vlogs I talked about a way of dealing with your doubts. But there is one big doubt that you might have and that’s dealing with the physical, financial and emotional consequences of failure. That won’t be too much of a problem if your goal is to tidy the garage, it will be a problem if you’re trying to do a triple back flip on a motorbike. In this blog I look at why you might want to consider taking on a challenge that you might ‘fail’ at. In the next blogs we look at making sure it either doesn’t happen or we have it in perspective.
In the last blog we looked at about how easy it was to come up with reasons for NOT taking on a tough challenge. Time to take a break and use these techniques to get your mojo back!
In the last blog I covered how to get a sense of urgency – to help you to at least consider taking action.
In this blog I look at a mistake that you can very naturally make when you are weighing up whether or not to take on a big challenge. A mistake that can easily stop you in your tracks. Here’s how to recognise it and how to avoid it. (Spoiler - its about being too ‘rational’)
So there I was overweight, out of work, sitting on my Mum’s sofa eating a lot of fast food and watching a lot of tv in the middle of the day. I didn’t like where I was, I really wanted to change. The problem was, every idea I came up with seemed too hard and too risky. It was much easier to reach for another chip. I was stuck this way for weeks. Even months…
We just had a few days to forge a new team to row across the Atlantic. Here’s what we did.
Weight loss is mostly portion control. Well, it’s about not eating junk but then after that it’s portion control. In fact, if you got the portions right there’s no reason you can’t lose weight eating fast food.
The problem is that portion control is tough. How much is the right amount to eat? I know how much I want to eat – but that’s going to be way too much. Don’t make me bring out the gram scales, and whatever you do don’t be stingy. I don’t want to be hungry.
Is there a way to choose the right amount to eat to lose weight and still not be hungry? Can I have my cake and eat it too?
1. It’s not about the food
(See my previous blog on this) It’s not about cutting out certain food groups. People ask ‘Do you still have carbs?’ Yes. ‘Do you only eat fruit?’ No. ‘Do you still booze?’ Yes. ‘Do you have still have milk in your tea?’ Yes, full fat milk too. ‘Are you paleo?’ No.
Ok it’s a little about the food. I eat a LOT less highly processed carbs: no baked pastries, no added sugar, no soft drinks, no fruit juices (no the sugar in fruit isn’t healthier!). I don’t have a a fudge brownie with my coffee any more. I drink less alcohol.
I lost 10 kgs over a few months and people started asking me how I did it. They want to know if I went Atkins or Paleo, Vegan, Vegetarian, or Nutritarian. They want to know what dried Patagonian super fruit I sprinkle over my organic bio-dynamic locally sourced Acai smoothie each morning.
So I told them what I did (it’s nothing odd or unusual) and they’re always disappointed. Or they try to follow the plan and they don’t get results. As one of my coaching clients said, “Kevin I’m really clear about what the rules are, it doesn’t stop me from doing the wrong thing.”
That’s because losing weight isn’t about the food.
This is the fifth and last blog of a series of blogs showing how we can achieve more by rethinking our attitude towards failure. In this blog I suggest four ways to remove judgement around failure.
So far we’ve talked about RAMPS and STEPS as if they are quite distinct, as if it is objectively clear to anyone which category your challenge falls into.
But what about if your goal is a RAMP but you are emotionally fully committed to achieving your bright line target? You will get over 80% in the exam! You will run the marathon in under 4 hours! You will lose 6kgs in 6 weeks! You see yourself as a succeeder, you’re a completer. You don’t pick every fight, but the ones you do you win. You bend the universe to your will.
This is the fourth in a series of blog posts about achieving more by rethinking failure. In this post we get to see how you can overcome the motivational slump characteristic of tough STEP goals, how to remove the possibility of failure, and how to maximise RAMP goals.
Two weeks out from the end of the trans-Atlantic rowing race we were losing badly. We were 70 miles behind the leaders.
We had tried catching them but nothing had seemed to work. The effort just to keep up was immense and it was looking increasingly like we were putting ourselves through hell for no particular good reason. There was a huge temptation to stop trying as hard and coast into the finish. After all winning is everything, and no one cares how far behind second place comes.
This is classic STEP thinking.
In the last blog I introduced the idea that challenges are RAMPs or STEPs based on when you get the benefits of taking on the challenge. When more effort leads to more benefit (like going on a diet) then it’s a RAMP. When it’s all at once, like defusing a bomb, it’s a STEP.
In this blog we’re looking at how you might use this idea to help you figure out:
- if you should continue when you’re in the middle of challenge and it doesn’t look like you’re going to make it
- if you’re wondering if you should even take on a challenge because you might not complete it
- if you should even take on a tough challenge
- how to approach your challenge when it’s a RAMP
- how to deal with the risk of serious failure if your challenge is a STEP
This is the third in a series of blogs about how to achieve more by rethinking failure. In this post I make a distinction about goal targets and goal benefits and explain how that leads to a new way to thinking about your challenge.
If we know one thing about goals, we know that taking on a goal means trying to reach a target. That’s the ‘S’ in SMART goals. That’s the ‘Specific’.
But hang on. That’s wrong already. When we take on a goal it’s not because we like to set targets, it’s because we want to get some benefit. So when do we get the benefit?
Is it all at once, when we achieve our target, or do we accrue it along the way?
Perhaps, because we see it so often in sport and competitions, we tend to think that all our goals have that same sharp division between getting a lot of benefit and getting a lot of pain. If we don’t reach the goal then, we’ve not only failed, but worse – the whole challenge has been a waste of time. But is that really the case?
This is second part of a series of blogs showing how we can achieve more by rethinking our attitude towards failure. In this blog post I’m looking at why you might want to take on a tough challenge.
You might be thinking that this point is blooming obvious. I thought so too. Then I was giving one of my workshops about how to take on tough challenges, to a group of admin staff. So we could get into the fun stuff I asked the participants to come up with their own tough challenge. It’s a slightly awkward question, but most of the group started scribbling away in the workbooks. However, there was also a certain number of thin-lipped cold stares coming from people sitting mostly at the back. These people were very happy with just the way things are thank you very much.
This post is for them.
So you’re thinking about taking on a tough challenge.
By tough I mean one that you know you should do, or it would be great to have done, but you haven’t been able to get yourself over the line and actually commit to whatever it is. It could be something big like writing a book, starting a business, learning to do a back flip, or launching a land war in Asia. Or something small, like cleaning the garage. Whatever it is, if you could wave a magic wand you’d want it done, but when you think of the work required and the risks involved, then your motivation wilts. Your enthusiasm is on life support. There is a pulse, but it’s feeble.
You know you’d be better off doing it. Why is it so hard to get started?
How can you shape the event and guide the speaker to ensure that you get the best return on your investment? This is a process that I’ve been through a few hundred times so here are my thoughts about some good questions and not so good questions that you might try asking or avoiding when briefing your next speaker.
We are inundated with opinion, theories, views, speculation, ‘can’t’, nonsense, spin, flim flam, alternative facts and fiendish marketing treachery masquerading as ‘advice’.
Now that we are old and wise, the obvious stuff no longer fools us. But some of the tips that we get from magazines, newspaper headlines and motivational speakers seem plausible … or maybe they’re complete nonsense? It’s hard to tell. I mean, much of it you could say in a conversation and no one would correct you.
My friends, who of course know that I am in the motivational speaking business will sometimes call me up and say ‘Give me some motivation. Ha ha!’
I say ‘Sure. Drink some coffee’.
Apparently there is, and it’s 5:1. That is some researchers are arguing that for every barbed remark, or true-word-spoken-in-jest you have to patch on five positive (and presumably sincere) comments for that relationship to be repaired.